May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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