Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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