I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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