Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
