She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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