I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
