I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
