If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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