I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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