am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
