Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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