That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
