Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
