happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
