It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
