Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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