i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
