mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
