whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
