New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
