he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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