Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
