Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
