some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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