I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
