so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
