Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
