She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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