do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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