omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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