Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize