"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
