which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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