Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
