You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
