The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
