well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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