Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
