So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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