Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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