Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
