So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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