i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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