Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
