hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize