i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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