brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
no, he came in my armpit
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.