i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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