i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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