ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
