I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
