Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
