we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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