i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
