mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize