My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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