Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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