WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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