and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
