is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
