I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
