I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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