i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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