Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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