ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
