help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
